Written by Gary Anderson | 01 July 2010

I recently heard about a young person who had been to Maine and couldn't find anything to do.
I was stunned. Here we are in Harpswell inundated by downed trees with tons, yes tons, of brush to pull and burn and wood to split for next winter.
The Anchor has many listings of things to do, too many really, exciting challenges to catch all of them.
However, let's look at a few from the pages of other papers.
One with potential for thrills is a garden tool sharpening class. Why anyone would try to plant alphabegonias or hockalilies with a dull shovel baffles your writer. Another is a hidden garden tour. We look for a wicked turnout on this one so jump right in on the fun. We can only hope compasses are there for loan or sale. Don't ignore the medication collection this month. If you fancy this writer is giving up his Bag Balm or Raleigh's Liniment for man or beast, internal or external, you're mistaken, but I'll gladly surrender my Cepacol tablets, purchased and used in 1988.
Then there is a beauty coming up on prostate problems. Why any alert and inquiring youngster wouldn't be thrilled by checking out prostates is a mystery.
In celebration of an early eruption of black flies and no-see-ums there will be a canoe paddle on the Cathance River. We suspect this will be a speed run.
You could have taken the time for a stroll through the rhododendrons. Actually a person could just stay in a vehicle and look out the window. This is especially recommended for wild flower and bird spotting and doesn't dissipate energy needed for serious partying; especially if you're chauffer driven.
50/50 style bingo is coming up. You are not required to be over 80 to play, and one could make up a whole table of young partners and split the take. Some of the winnings are substantial, often twenty dollars!
Have you ever built a bridge across a bog? This is a class for trail users, and the secret is to wear Vietnam combat boots with self-draining eye holes near the shank. And change your socks every 20 minutes!
Then you might take in the Psychic Fair. Perhaps you'll learn whether or not the Democrats will be on the next Nobel Prize list again.
If that doesn't crank you up, take in the storm window workshop. We won't see you there having participated in exactly 53 such workshops; actually 106, one in each fall and spring.
There is a group teaching a laughter course. So you're already laughing! You could take in a Maine Llama Drill Team parade; hey, I am not making this stuff up, and learn to hook rugs if you'd have been ready and we admit many of these classics have already become part of 2010 history, but there's always next year.
Here in Harpswell one can hike 6.5 miles of trails in one day and nourish our own strain of clam flats black flies, second to none in animation and savagery. Volunteers are needed to hurl ice water as the herd thunders by.
There is an evening lantern walk in Pemaquid. The time of day and lanterns guarantee you'll do your part to feed nature and perpetuate Maine's State Insect. You will recall from U.S. History I, the black flies carried off the earliest settlers much to the native people's satisfaction. By the way, consider it a duty to feed black flies. It is the "green" thing to do. Trout, birds and larger insects all eat flies. What a treat it is to see a dragon fly swoop down on one of those vicious blood suckers; carry it away and tear it tooth from tooth. How we do love nature!
There are several more of which we do not understand, cannot put into words, so will just skip.
Two or three require a casserole dish, but I'm sure in your case you could push a few TV dinners. Oh, you cook? Pasta? We should have guessed.
Finally, so you may be of service to others; before it's too late, take in some docent training for talking tours of gardens and trails. It's the hottest thing in Maine!
Nothing to do? Indeed!